Thoughts on Love
A poem in tanka-verse
Dear Reader:
I am no expert on Japanese tanka. What I know is that for centuries, tanka have been the main form of poems written in Japanese. They are brief, usually on nature, love, or spiritual realities. Each poem consists of 31 syllables. Rhyme is not necessary. The form, however, is fixed in five lines, with the following number of syllables in each successive line: 5-7-5-7-7. In Japan I noticed the fondness for odd numbers, so that a tea set purchased would have 5 or 7 cups, for example, and not our western 4, 8, 12. The beauty of tanka comes in part from delicate and brief lines, simply stated, hinting at more than words say. Paul
I am no expert on Japanese tanka. What I know is that for centuries, tanka have been the main form of poems written in Japanese. They are brief, usually on nature, love, or spiritual realities. Each poem consists of 31 syllables. Rhyme is not necessary. The form, however, is fixed in five lines, with the following number of syllables in each successive line: 5-7-5-7-7. In Japan I noticed the fondness for odd numbers, so that a tea set purchased would have 5 or 7 cups, for example, and not our western 4, 8, 12. The beauty of tanka comes in part from delicate and brief lines, simply stated, hinting at more than words say. Paul
I. Venus-Aphrodite
Waxing bright moon
And Venus-Aphrodite
In the southern sky
Still bearing sunset after-glow
On a vast crystal canvas.
Soon after sunset,
She appears to the south-west,
Beneath Selene,
Bright Venus Aphrodite
Goddess of beauty and love.
In silence she calls,
Venus, goddess in twilight,
Shining in beauty,
Igniting passion and love
Then disappearing in dark.
Venus aged yet young,
Inviting the mind to gaze;
Beauty captivating,
Enflaming your lover’s heart
Then retreating to darkness.
Where are you Venus,
Now that I have awakened?
Are you still shining
Somewhere in an evening sky,
Enflaming your lovers’ hearts?
Am I alone now,
Venus, goddess of my soul?
Having awakened
This wanderer on the earth,
Will you send him back to sleep?
Most lovely Venus,
Beauty both ancient and new,
Mistress of true love,
You kiss the evening flowers,
Beautifying as they fade.
Mystical goddess,
Hidden in the dark night sky
Though shining somewhere,
You have shone for me, my love,
Restoring joy as I age.
You, silent goddess,
Yourself loved by night’s lovers:
Far above our minds
You shine down and shine within,
Illuminating, unseen.
You have flamed my heart,
Nocturnal Aphrodite,
You have fired my heart,
Mistress of my soul’s rebirth,
Midwife of one in labor.
It was not you, friend,
Not a mere passing mortal,
That set me on fire,
But Venus Aphrodite,
Eternal goddess of love.
She shines in beauty,
Clothed in a dark evening sky,
Silene’s handmaid,
Perhaps more fair than the moon,
Both displaying sheer beauty.
Return my Venus,
Not mine to have or to hold,
But still mine to love,
You most beautiful woman,
Too fair for my wayward heart.
You are beautiful,
My love, you are beautiful;
Both fair within
And without in loveliness,
Enticing my mind to gaze.
Sing, Aphrodite,
Sing again your silent songs,
That ears do not hear,
But lovers hear in stillness,
Listening with love-tuned hearts.
Shattering deafness--
Not by shouts of victory,
Nor by noisy songs,
But by silently shining
Far from our distracting lights.
I loved you, perhaps,
Before I found me living
In a spinning world;
Before I became aware
That I was even alive.
Mystical madness,
Goddess of souls venturing
Out into darkness,
Into night’s lone loneliness,
All one and alone with you.
Most holy goddess,
Whispering in silent nights,
Unheard and unseen--
But not by your mad lovers,
Drunk on ambrosian beauty.
O divine madness,
Eros yearning for its god,
For Aphrodite,
Assuming form as she wills,
And driving her lovers mad.
Love-mad, inspired souls,
Enflamed by love’s ambrosia,
Yearning for union
With the god hidden within
The body of the beloved.
I see you, goddess,
I see you disguised within,
Shining hiddenly
In Theresa’s time-worn hands,
Withered by laboring love.
I see you, Venus,
Dwelling unexpectedly
In time-worn bodies
Of those who generously
Spent themselves in your true love.
You are most lovely,
Cytheran Aphrodite,
Born from castration,
And yet burning with desire
To impassion human hearts.
Wild Aphrodite,
You seduced young Anchises,
Pasturing his flocks,
And now you have seduced me,
After pasturing my sheep.
You play upon my harp,
Aphrodite ouranou,
Goddess of heaven,
Beloved by all wanderers
On their way to Olympus.
Lifted by your wings,
I, too, shall ascend the slopes
Of Mount Olympus,
And drink of sweet ambrosia,
As the gods give me to drink.
By love’s fire enflamed,
A human soul ascending
To Olympus’ heights,
Remembering as it climbs
Aphrodite’s lovely face.
I have loved you, love,
And love you yet more, I hope,
Even as I climb,
Journeying by love-filled faith,
To the dwelling of the gods.
You remain on earth,
And I shall ascend alone,
Not alone, all one,
At peace upon Olympus,
Its peak hidden by dark clouds.
On the wings of love
The soul ascends Olympus,
Not mourning the loss
Of loves living still on earth,
But alive in memory.
To Aphrodite
I shall come with songs of joy
Songs of holy joy,
Inspired by last year’s loves,
Remembered and most treasured
I have not left you
Somewhere down below on earth;
On love’s high mountain,
Each soul carries every soul
It has known and loved in time.
When I pass through clouds
High upon Olympus’ heights
You will be with me
As I pierce the cloudy veil,
And enter the banquet hall.
When I enter
You shall enter in my soul,
And when I behold
The gods in their true beauty
Will you not behold them, too?
Ascend with me, friend;
The soul must bear its beloved
Up to heaven’s heights;
For the soul who climbs alone
Will miss heaven’s richest feast.
In memory
You arise with me to God.
In memory
You arise; but in my will,
You are free to abide.
To climb the mountain
On which the gods are dwelling,
All that I have grasped
My hands must set gently down,
Free to aid the steep ascent.
You are released, friend,
From my anxious grasp; and I
Ascending alone,
Remember you most kindly,
For aiding a wanderer.
To Venus I climb,
Renewed by her lovely sight,
Still shining somewhere,
Still radiant in my heart,
As I remember your love.
Love, teach me to love,
And not to love: no grasping,
But self-giving love,
Sprung from the spring of true love,
Unhindered by rocks that cling.
Sacred fount of love,
Most lovely Aphrodite,
Beautiful woman,
Joy of enshrining spirits,
Refreshed by pleasures renounced.
Love begins in time,
Begins enfleshed in real flesh,
Enflamed by passion;
Then restrained by Spirit’s reins,
Fuels the soul’s journey through time
To eternity,
Into the bosom of God,
Who is Love itself,
Deifying the human,
Changing flesh into Spirit.
I loved you, I think,
Once or twice or thrice, or
Maybe not at all.
For was it you whom I saw,
Or merely your outer form?
Was it truly you?
Did I love the one you are,
Or what outwardly
Appeared to my fleshly mind,
While you escaped my blind sight?
Who are you then now
When I begin to realize
My eyes were outward,
And whoever you may be,
Has been dimly seen by me.
Do I dare to love
When I’ve been bewitched by you?
You did not deceive--
My longing heart was entranced,
Did not search for inner truth.
Still the anxiety;
Love’s summer begins in spring,
Or in deep winter,
Long before flowers appear,
Before new growth blossoms forth.
Venus undefiled,
Ravishingly beautiful;
Envious the stars
Who behold your nakedness,
And tremble from head to foot.
You have played with me,
Aphrodite ouranou;
Plucking every string,
You have played me as your harp--
Now I’m vibrating with love.
Let me sleep, Venus,
My head resting on your breast,
Arm around your waist,
And you, rocking me to sleep
Singing of love undying.
Silence heard outside,
No voices, only wind chimes
Notes softly sounding
On a cold New Year’s morning
Seeking to arouse the sun.
Arise, Apollo,
Greet your people this New Year,
Shine into our world,
Waiting alone in darkness
Waiting for your love and truth.
II. Theotokos
Dark in Montana
Night of Theotokos,
Darkness giving birth
To a new day, a New Year:
Light eternal into time.
She comes in glory
Unimagined and unknown,
The silent mother
Of the living Word of God,
Bearing light into darkness.
She who brings forth God
To those living in darkness
And in death’s shadow
Speaks not a word from her lips
But brings forth God’s Word enfleshed.
You are beautiful,
Young Mary of Nazareth,
Who conceived the LORD
In your true heart’s deepest thoughts
Then conceived Him in your flesh.
Marian Christians
We are—Mary and Jesus,
Mother and her Son,
Living in the minds and hearts
Of faithful, simple people.
In Christ’s disciples
Abides Christ the Risen One,
Jesus, ever born
Through Mary the God-bearer,
Through God’s most humble servant.
Mary, I’ve seen you
Unexpectedly in a man,
Together with Jesus,
Whom you forever bring forth
In the flesh of God’s people.
Loving Christ the Son,
We love his Mother, who bore Him,
Mary, bearing Christ
Now in open-humble hearts,
Shining upon our faces.
Seeing Christ in you,
I’ve also beheld Mary
Mother with her Son,
Mother with Christ’s disciples,
With and for God’s true people.
III. Disciples
Christ’s first disciples
Drew men and women to God,
Through humanity,
Through Christ dwelling in their souls,
Enflamed with undying love.
As a handsome man,
You attracted attention;
To my sheer surprise,
Within you I have beheld
Christ and Mary in your soul.
It is you I love,
A concrete human being,
You with flesh and blood;
In you I find those you love:
And love them in loving you.
Your God is my God,
And where you dwell I shall dwell:
Jesus homes in you,
His disciples home in you,
And this stranger homes in you.
You carry your Christ--
Not a cross around your neck--
But our Risen LORD,
Alive with your heart’s response,
Setting you aglow with Christ.
Faithful disciple,
Touching your hand, I touch Christ;
Hearing your sweet voice
I feel God’s soothing Spirit,
Lifting hearts into God here.
Silent night of love,
All quiet, still, and lonesome;
Silence in darkness,
Barely a breath felt or heard,
Alert for love’s enfleshment.
You sit quietly,
As I gaze upon your form,
And marvel at God
Drawing me into his Life,
Through your gentleness to me.
Disciple of Christ,
Not waving a book in faces,
Nor selling yourself;
But humbly doing your chores,
Showing kindness to strangers.
Mary, faith-filled Jew,
Faithful to God’s Israel,
Faithful to the LORD
Whom you bore into the world,
Mother-Daughter of your Son.
Chaste love, wonder-filled,
Fruitful beyond human hopes,
Chaste love, God-receiving,
Allowing love to flood in,
Raising the soul on her wings.
IV. Seeking Peace
Lone loneliness
Never far from consciousness,
Present to a wounded heart,
Broken, split open:
Causes vary, same effects.
Emotionally raw
Feelings strong, shifting quickly,
Reason off balance,
Preferring its solitude
To dealing with others’ words.
To restore balance
And peace of mind, emotions,
Surrender within
Not to force but to true love
That heals by self-emptying.
Why pain after pain,
Wounds refusing to be healed?
Old wounds buried deep
Within beneath consciousness,
Bloody wounds bearing life’s scars.
“I was entangled
In a world of strife, before
I had the power
To change my life;” true for all,
Inviting each to seek peace.
How shall one arise
When chained to suffering’s wheel,
Bound to undergo
Again and again life-death,
Choosing the same endlessly?
To free the psyche,
Free the mind from suffering,
Enlightenment’s goal;
Choose to break one’s fetters and
Accept the unchangeable.
What disturbs one’s peace?
What imbalances the mind?
Clinging to one’s self--
One’s fleeting self in the flow--
As if it were unchanging.
You too are dying,
Passing away each moment,
Having no safe place
In the heaving, drowning waves,
In the sea of turbulence.
What rises will fall,
What comes to be perishes;
Each breath breathlessly
Dies away to nothingness,
And all you are perishes.
Withering old age:
Hearing fades and teeth break off,
Loneliness comes
As loved ones die in the night
And you face your death alone.
Would you cling to him?
You are like a barnacle
Fixedly attached
To an ocean-pounded rock
Even now washing away.
What you feel and do
Is barnacle love, attached
To a steep sea stack,
Now eroding under you,
Clinging obliviously.
Peace costs you daily:
To forego the urge to cling,
To release one’s grip
Of hating or desiring,
To accept that all passes.
What becomes of love
For one seeking detached peace?
How can love be freed
From the desire to possess?
From attachment, from clinging?
Steady vigilance
Is the cost of inner peace.
One must keep struggling
To purge love of selfishness,
To refrain from coveting.
How pale are my words
Compared to Bach’s aria:
Hear “Vergnügte Ruh,
Beliebte Seelenlust,” sung
In Cantata 170.
V. Facing Death
Arising in darkness,
A little before midnight:
I’m hungry and arthritic--
No reason to remain in bed
When sleep has withdrawn its net.
Is death haunting me
As old age afflicts worn joints?
My mind is not still,
But troubled by disturbing thoughts--
Awareness of my shortcomings.
Death must be faced now,
Before it completes my life.
Awareness of death can cleanse
The heart from excessiveness,
From grasping too hard at life.
Nothing remains here
As mental processes cease,
The aged body breaks down
Into simpler elements,
Friends forget, deeds are finished.
I am leaving here;
Nothing at all will remain
Of what I have been.
In time everything dissolves;
Even one’s footprints vanish.
Time to make peace with death,
Before entering death’s realm,
Before it takes all
I have been, loved, known, and owned;
And nothing of me remains.
Death is drawing near,
If not today, tomorrow
Perhaps the day after.
Death comes how and when it will,
Not when I would have it come.
Death is feared by all
Who cling to life and its gifts.
Face death’s power now,
Knowing you will not escape
Death’s all-devouring hunger.
All I love will die:
My friends, my country, myself;
The world that I’ve known
Even now passes away,
Leaving me alone with death.
Death will take it all:
These little things I cherish
Will perish into nothing.
My friends, dogs, art, books--
All vanish in death’s dark night.
And I pass away,
Now living, undone by death;
I am perishing
And nothing can prevent death
From destroying utterly.
Family and friends,
Who and what I most love, all
Ravished by death,
Who spares no one and nothing,
Leaving not a trace behind.
Death, you may be proud
That you have your way and sway,
Killing as you will,
Taking even memories
Of what once was ours in time.
Time is death’s weapon,
Destroying every moment
Whatever it wills,
And replacing you and me
With others to live and die.
Cold death pursues me,
Every day drawing closer,
Coming near to me,
Stripping away what I love,
Soon to grab and devour me.
You have taken my friends,
Those persons so dear to me;
Now You take more friends,
Murdering them one by one,
And by killing them, kill me.
You devour what I love,
Everyone and everything,
Leaving me nothing
But you, death, to face alone
At the moment you should choose.
Faith will not spare you,
Nor will God’s interventions;
Death may be delayed,
Restrained from striking you down--
But only for a short while.
Death’s victory’s assured,
Of that you can be assured.
Do not be deceived:
You will succumb to death’s blows,
As you are nailed to your cross.
No God intervened
As Jesus was crucified,
Brutally tortured.
Do you presume to be spared
By faith, or angels, or God?
Death killed Christ himself.
The most holy man died, too,
Utterly destroyed,
Rejected and stripped naked,
Abandoned by his best friends.
God spared not His Son,
But gave him up unto death,
A most brutal death,
Leaving behind no children,
Merely dispirited friends.
Christ’s disciples feared death,
Not wanting their master dead.
Clinging to mortal life,
They could not accept his death,
Refused to be crucified.
God enfleshed dies, too;
Even God submits to death
In time’s finite realm;
Nothing escapes reigning death
Within the limits of space-time.
Is there beyond death?
God is the beyond of death.
The divine alone--
Our word for what’s beyond death--
The Uncaused, the Beginning.
No death beyond death,
No death after death has killed;
Death is bound by time,
Non-time alone unbounded
By time’s mortal processes.
Mortal processes
Are ever at work in time;
What begins in time
Ends in time, the realm of change.
All that changes ends in death.
God alone beyond
Beginning-ending in time,
Beyond being changed
By processes destroying
Everything under time’s sway.
Accept death and breathe;
Although all that breathes must die,
The breathless divine,
Spirits life into spirit:
Does spirit abide in man?
God’s presence in man
Is experienced as real;
God’s Spirit abides,
Not bounded by time or death:
What is wrought in God abides.
What is wrought in God?
Love’s true deeds are wrought in God.
And what are love’s deeds?
Action moved by God for good,
God’s love overcoming self.
What does God in-breathe?
The breathless one in-breathes man.
The divine inspires
Love of truth, beauty, goodness;
Love of self-giving union.
Love alone endures
Beyond death; true love from God,
Leading back to God,
Into the Source that pours forth,
From God to Go through true love.
VI. For True Love
Dear Love, teach me love,
Inspire me to love in truth.
Do I know you, Love?
Do I know what true love is?
Or is my love too self-sheathed?
I know false love, Lord.
What is sought for one’s pleasure,
Or one’s advantage;
Not for one’s true well-being,
But for oneself, is false love.
We deceive ourselves,
Calling our desires real love,
And using others
For our own pleasure or gain,
Not for their enduring good.
True love costs the self.
Good God, empower me to love.
Retrain, restrain me,
Not my will, Lord, but your will--
Many deaths to die for love.
To do good for you
Must be my aim in friendship:
To give you my time,
To refrain from using you,
To speak the truth openly.
Have I ever loved,
Ever sacrificed myself
For the other’s good?
What good have I done for you
Who have no long tail to wag?
The crawl-space of love:
Our knees ground down on sharp rocks,
No space for long legs
Cramped but twisting and turning
To fix the broken furnace.
Sunshine in my heart,
Bright Apollo far above;
Through you I’m alive,
Your love setting me on fire;
By love reborn, in love joyed.
Marriage is vowed love,
True friends are free to depart.
To be a good friend,
Gently hold him in your palm,
And more gently in your heart.
Alone not yet one,
Peaceful when away from you,
Joyful when you’re near;
I flourish in solitude,
But wither without your love.
If death intervenes,
Taking your body away,
Where will our love be?
Where it is now: in God’s mind,
If I choose to search it out.
When death befalls you,
“I will pray for you,” meaning
I’ll thank God for you,
Entrusting you forever
To the one whose love is truth.
Alone I feel peace.
With you I am energized,
Some burdens are lifted,
And you bring joy and friendship;
But I need solitude’s peace.
Away from you, I soar
Lightly and quietly.
Writing I take flight,
Surveying the wide landscape,
As my soul returns homeward.
Solitude-friendship,
These two complete each other
And both are needed;
Alone I pursue Questions;
In you I find some answer.
I want you to be
Free to be your truest self,
Free to walk away
From me anytime you wish;
To be with me as you choose.
Alone I love you,
Neediness is forgotten;
But in your presence,
My heart gets enflamed, and I
Want to be one with you.
Your true way to God
Must include your espoused love;
Delightful union
Is yours together in Christ,
At least until death divides.
Perhaps beyond death
You two will ever be oned;
You are only you
With and for your beloved spouse
Who is your door into God.
My way is alone,
Not renouncing anyone,
Enjoying friendship,
But essentially alone,
As alone as I can be.
How much solitude
Can I bear, and be at peace?
That is the question.
The truth will emerge in time,
As I seek to do God’s will.
The giver or the gift?
Prefer the one who gives love,
Or the beloved gift--
Your friend on the journey home,
A light to lighten your heart.
Are you with me now?
Absent in body, are you
Not present in heart?
The questions point the true way:
Companionship-solitude.
Your absence gifts me:
Bodily gone, free to love.
The closer to God,
The one true and living God,
The closer to you, my friend.
Physical absence
Allows the spirit to soar
Away from bodies,
Away from emotions’ bonds,
And into the heart of love.
You are with me, friend,
As step by step I ascend
From earth’s beloved bounds
Towards the unseen first Source
From which every creature flows.
Arising in love,
Every you arises, too;
When I’m most alone,
Then I’m most with you, my love,
In love’s closer company.
Because God is love,
Shutting out God shuts out love;
Opening to love,
Opens you to Love Unknown,
Who stealthily enters in.
You arrive in darkness,
The mind not seeing you come;
But here you are, Love,
Present in and with me now
Love known by unknowing love.
Not grasped, not held tight,
Not touched, seen, heard, thought, or felt--
Present in absence,
Present in an empty heart,
Waiting alone for you, Love.
True love, being true
To whom you are, not in self--
Nor self by itself,
Not self from nor for itself--
Forgetting yourself in God.
By losing, one finds,
By giving away, one has;
Self clinging to self
Ends up holding broken wind
With hands grasping large hot rocks.
Consciousness of self
Becomes aware of the Whole;
Or self consciousness
Occupies a prisoner’s mind,
As a panther all-encaged.
True love is grounded
Not in itself nor the loved,
But becomes awake
To the whole in which lovers
Come to be and pass away.
Incomplete lovers,
Beginners on love’s journey,
Have not discovered
That the other is a door
Opening up to everyone.
One plus one are two
In mathematics; but in love,
True and lasting love,
One plus one become three, four
Or one embracing the Whole.
VII. Psychē
Your name is Nemo?
Or are you fiddling with me?
Plucking my strings,
You make me sing to your tune--
Nemo the divine fiddler.
You were with me, Shane,
When my father slugged the boy;
You were with me, friend,
When I was fired from my job;
You’re with me now, as I die.
Psyche is layered;
All that we have been still lives
Alive in psyche;
All that was past is present
In the sea-depths of psyche.
To remember
Is to make present again
What was forgotten;
Awakened, it forms the mind,
Nourishes the psychic soil.
The psyche gives birth
To what the man thinks or feels,
To whom he becomes;
She keeps giving birth within
Until the body ceases.
Psyche sits enthroned
Within the body’s temple;
Riches in her hands,
She distributes as she wills
To those who do her bidding.
After he slugged me
No one spoke to me, crying;
You are with me now,
Defending, consoling me,
Protecting me from his wrath.
Punching my little nose
Wasn’t the worst of that event.
I was then ignored,
And felt that I was nothing,
And did not wish to exist.
You have touched my soul--
At which layers I’m not sure.
But depths have been reached.
At times when I think of you,
Tears spontaneously flow.
My child’s heart was axed,
And pain became my psyche,
An ocean of pain
That didn’t know consolation,
But wave after wave of pain.
Did you hear the cries?
Have you shared the suffering?
I brought you my pain,
And you vowed to protect me,
Speaking when others would not.
Healing psychic love,
Penetrating years of pain:
When you come to mind,
My child’s soul re-feels consoled,
And years of tears flow from me.
Who are you, Stranger,
Who binds up such long-held wounds?
I name you as “Love,”
The most sacred name for God
Present with us through our pains.
Out of wounds come gifts,
Out of bleeding hearts come arts,
To be shared with all,
Acts of loving gratitude,
For the Lover in our loves
Your soul is my soul,
As I befriend you, psyche.
Holy of holies,
The divine abode within
Becomes a fountain of life.
You reach into me,
Stream of uplifting music.
Foremost master, Bach,
You delight my mind and heart
With divinely crafted art.
You know the psyche,
You know her ways and true needs;
You lover of Christ,
Who besouled your soul with sounds
Drawing hearers into God.
I love you, old Bach,
How beautifully you sing
For God and creature,
Inventive with melodies,
Contrapuntally worked out.
She speaks in music.
Psyche speaking to psyche,
Beneath reason’s ears,
Deeper than intellect probes,
Psyche revealed in music.
To discern spirits,
Listen to psyche’s music,
Listen and you’ll hear,
More than words can intimate,
Psyche’s direct outpourings.
Psyche loves beauty
More than all else in the Whole.
She dwells in beauty,
Swells with joy in its presence.
Longs to beget in beauty.
How difficult
To arouse and delight psyche
If beauty’s face
Is not beheld innerly,
Psyche raptly attending.
Soul ensouls beauty
And through it begets good things--
Art and noble deeds,
Music and beautiful words,
Love and her diverse children.
Where have you gone, love
Of the Beautiful? “I’m alive
In you, quietly now.”
Beauty, my life’s constant love,
You’ve brought me abundant joy.
The beauty of good deeds,
Of a noble character,
Grows with passing years;
As outward beauty slackens,
Psyche’s beauty may shine forth.
Is God beautiful?
Supremely so, I believe;
All that’s beautiful
Comes from God and points to him;
One who loves beauty loves God.
Is love beautiful?
Love moves to beauty, goodness,
Truth, and to oneness;
Love desires beauty, so lacks
What it so greatly desires.
You are beautiful
To me, fair friend, for goodness,
Even as years age you.
Gentleness and self-restraint
Render a soul beautiful.
Beautiful Psyche,
And all you divine beings,
Sing of my dear friend,
Sing when my heart leaps for joy,
And sing when clouds mask the sun.
You dwell on round earth,
And in vast-soaring heavens;
Stretching everywhere,
Bordering every being,
Partner to each and to all.
VIII. Return to the Whole
"O Pan and all gods,”
Too much for us to name well,
Let alone to know;
Psyche ranging through the Whole,
Unlike psychologists’ minds.
Bounded minds in a world
Confined to concepts and words,
Minds in shrunken heads,
Who do not know their knowledge
Smacks of human arrogance.
Pan far beyond us,
Kosmos full of mysteries,
How little we are
And yet we share in the Whole,
Beyond, above, and within.
The soul roams freely
Through space and time unhindered;
When the world’s asleep,
Psyche takes winged flight by night,
Exploring regions unknown.
Love opens the mind,
But false loves can seal it closed,
Self entombed in self.
True love expands the soul
Into the divine abyss.
Love itself may deceive,
Understood as between two
And not reaching out,
Not aware of love’s grounding
In the Whole in which all are.
Two in love alone,
As a world unto themselves,
Quite oblivious
To the whole context of life,
In which every being shares.
Life and love are shared,
Unfolding within the Whole,
Never self-contained,
Nor worlds to themselves alone,
But Love’s outpourings in time.
Consciousness of all,
Aware of the Whole within,
The Whole beyond all
Bounded being-things in time--
Time itself within the Whole.
The vision of all,
Of each and all in the Whole,
Grounds the love of each,
Opening what unfolds in time
Into eternity’s depths.
Venus Aphrodite,
And you, my well-treasured friend,
And everything that breathes,
Every being coming forth
Has its place within the Whole.
I see you, Venus;
I see your face, dear old friend,
And my mind is moved,
Envisioning you in All,
And All together in you.
You are not known alone,
Nor loved alone, but known-loved
Within Mystery,
The ordered-disordered Whole,
Cosmos ever becoming.
Does God change? I asked
A philosopher, a man
Seeking divine truth;
“The greatest theologians,”
He said to me, “do not know.”
What we know changes,
Every single being-thing;
But what is called “God”--
Not a thing, not a being--
Is beyond the mind’s knowing.
The divine gives glimpses,
But no prophet or thinker
Has seen the divine
In itself unveiled, revealed;
The humble enter through love.
What is it I craved
All these many-fleeting years,
And too rarely found?
The still peace of solitude,
Or the fire of loving you?
Craving has not ceased--
Desire not desirable--
And yet I’m nurtured
By peace in which to seek God,
By love splitting me open.
Openness to love
And peace vibrate in tension;
Love fills with wonder,
Arousing the soul to seek
The unbounded Mystery.
Quietly alone,
If not always feeling peace,
Love chariots me,
Driving my mind into You,
Mysterious divine Whole.
Pale blue Oúranos,
Your clarity unclouded,
Awaiting the Sun,
Apollo who transforms dark
Into splendid morning light.
Philosophia
must become my mind’s true love,
My reason to live,
My motive to rise from sleep,
My mind’s treasured companion.
Love of wisdom is
Love of the only wise God;
God alone is wise:
Our part is to love wisdom.
Not to think we possess it.
“O Pan and all gods,”
Make my psyche fair within,
And keep stretching me
Into realms unknown to me,
Into all-including Whole.
IX. Why I am writing
Why disturb the silence?
Why write these little poems?
What has been achieved?
I desire to grow in love,
To seek some truth through writing.
Writing can shine light
On what is known and unknown,
Remembered—or not--
Writer-reader together
Sharing in love’s mystery.
My feelings for you
Have been exposed to reason,
Brought into a light,
Part not eclipsing the Whole;
But part revealed in the Whole.
Reason loves the Whole,
Relates to the whole Kosmos,
Explores the Whole;
Love gives to reason her wings,
Raising the mind to wonder.
True love and reason,
Rather than being opposed,
Explore together,
Divine powers co-working,
Divinizing our psyches.
Love opens the soul,
Allowing reason to search
And behold with awe
The wonders of the Kosmos,
From its rock depths to its heights.
By love one ascends
From confined psyche into
The luminous Whole,
From self in self to union
With each and all in the All.
Divine madness--
Eros, gift of Cosmic gods,
Not carrying the soul
Toward an imagined god,
But grounding one in the Whole.
Most beautiful world,
Filled with divine mysteries,
Delightful Kosmos,
Home to humans and to gods,
Home to more than we can know.
You are and are not.
Loves came to mind as I wrote.
Others may still hide,
Unwilling to stand in light,
Hiding in oblivion.
Loves admit of shadows;
What love can endure bright light?
False loves get exposed;
True loves welcome reason’s lights,
True love delights in questions.
Love that hides destroys
Or hinders the soul’s ascent--
A reason for love--
The divine drawing us in
By bands of truth-filled love.
Do you employ love,
Lord God, to bring us to life
On a path we’ll take,
Not fully knowing its end--
In you to you through dyings?
To my loving friends,
Some of whom inspired these words,
I ask forgiveness
If I’ve betrayed your kind love,
If I’ve been false to love’s truth.
It is not my will
To exclude from love’s compass
Any one or thing--
By gender, species, or age,
For all share in Love’s vision.
Beautiful Venus,
Goddess in the starry sky,
Your beauty touched me;
Should I say, “Just a planet,”
And not feel awe before you?
Lovely Italian,
Raffaella Gherardi,
You enflamed my youth,
So I must not let you slip
From love’s sweet remembering.
And you, man of God,
Good physician to my soul,
Don’t I still love you?
Having begun in spirit,
Could fleshly death end our love?
Friend rediscovered--
Years of separation gone--
Beauty has faded,
Goodness overflows in you:
Not youth but the God enfleshed.
Awestruck is my heart,
Finding in you God I seek,
The true living God
Dwelling not in stone temples,
But in hearts of human flesh.
Sing to me, O Muse
A song of Zion’s beauty,
Sing to one in love
With your creatures here on earth,
Each one the fruit of your love.
Why do I so write?
I’m like Aaron who declared,
“I just threw the gold
Into the fire, and out jumped
this calf—ah, this golden calf!”
You have fired my gold,
My dear friend, burning the dross,
Purifying gold--
“And out jumps this calf,” cowboy!
Would you have preferred a horse?
O you divine man--
Divine both woman and man--
You accepted me
Into your home and your heart,
And love rushed in, cleaving me.
He wounds us to heal,
The truly good physician,
Cleaning infection
From the wound; then out flows blood
And water as from Christ’s side.
Writing is a flow
Of water from a pierced side;
The patient healing,
Love begetting life in words,
Word becoming flesh again.
I write, and you leave,
Lonely lonesome alone heart;
Riding a white horse
Nous drives loneliness away,
Prepares to carry me up.
We ride, you and I--
Apollo reddens the sky--
Psyche and the Nous,
Into the heavenly realm
To over-gaze the whole world.
Long-winded Willy,
Are you drunk on speech again?
Drowning your sorrows
In a flood of bizarre words,
Or exploring the real world?
You have Christed me
By not shrinking from my wounds;
Seeing one in need,
You did not recoil disgusted,
But share in the healer’s art.
A soul being healed
Must allow the Spirit’s flow;
Rock is split open,
The divine within springing:
Love-truth-insight-art as one.
Wild, playful spirit,
Don’t disdain a mad monk’s soul;
Draw me into you,
Whatever the cross and cost,
For love’s labor’s never lost.
There’ll be time to rhyme,
Time for many revisions,
Time too for visions,
Time to drop the tanka-chime,
Time for soulful decisions.
The end is nearing--
Perched on death’s edge I must write,
A swan foretelling:
Be with me, love, as I die,
And all will always be well.
Always it’s love’s time:
As you will, love, not my will;
To you the glory:
You the Beginning and End,
You the way to peace-filled joy.
X. Concluding Meditation
The love of wisdom
Seems to be asleep in me.
Do I love wisdom?
Do I seek to see the Whole
Or rest in blind ignorance?
What hinders my search?
Am I truly seeking God,
Or assume I’ve found?
If I seek wisdom, when, how?
Show me evidence of a search.
How do I seek God?
When do I pray and study?
Do I meditate?
Wisdom and knowledge of God
Inspire study or not?
Eternal, good God,
Pull me hard to seek you now,
To spend years in search
Of true insight into you,
Surrendering all that blinds;
Show me what to read,
What to avoid, what to do.
Guide me surely
To love wisdom above all,
Sacrificing for my love.
I’ve become lazy, Lord,
And taken you for granted,
Pretending to have
Wisdom and knowledge of you,
While in truth I do not know.
Winter has arrived,
And soon the sun will decline
Sinking from my sight.
My journey here is ending;
May I leave searching for light.
How shall we begin?
Awareness of ignorance
Will fuel the true search,
So show me, Lord, my blindness,
That I’ll truly seek you out.
Philosophia
Must become my mind’s true love,
My reason to live,
My motive to rise from sleep,
My mind’s treasured companion.
In beginner’s mind,
Many possibilities;
In the expert’s mind,
Many facts and some theories,
But few possibilities.
In my weaknesses,
I ask for your divine help;
Show me what to read,
Help my mind to understand,
And to ask the right questions.
Now I feel sleepy--
Noon time demon came early.
How can you move me?
How can I arouse myself
Truly to seek you, awake One?
Are you real, Lord God?
If real, who-what might you be?
How can I seek you,
Not knowing or loving you?
To you, through you, within you.
Winter grows colder,
The weary sun slips away
Beyond my dim sight.
Life’s journey here is ending;
Beyond death dwells God alone.
—Wm. Paul McKane, OSB
05 January 2020
Feast of the Epiphany
Sheridan, Montana