To a friend betrayed

How wrong I was, friend,
     In those months when we would meet. 
Perhaps I loved you 
     Too much, in ways unwanted.
     How blind I was to you then.

After months apart,
     Returning to our own lives,
Do I now realize
     That I disrespected you,
     Even while speaking of “love.”  

I wanted it all--
     I craved affection from you,
And you were patient
     With me, for all of those months
     Enduring my weaknesses.

How loving was I
     Insisting on my desires,
Making you feel
     Highly uncomfortable
     And calling it “openness”?  

I was selfish, friend,
     Forcing my cravings on you.
You kept saying “No,”
     But I heard only “my heart,”  
     And kept demanding more love.

I abused your trust,
     As now I must acknowledge.  
If you were present,
     With genuine contrition.  
     I would beg your forgiveness.  

Rain was streaming down
     When we last met for coffee.
Still I insisted;
     And you glanced down at your hand,
     The gold band round your finger.  


—Wm. P. McKane
    26 January 2020