A prayer-poem to Christ
and a response
Note: I wrote the following prayer-poem on 28 January. Then on 29 January I found in my mind a response to the prayer, and that response follows after this one.
I try to love you,
And I hope to love you well,
But Jesus, Spirit,
I need to love you enfleshed,
Not just untouchably.
You give me some friends
from whom I can feel your love,
And see your work hands,
And hear your voice speak and sing:
In friends you show your love.
You dwell within me,
Within each human being;
Rarely do I sense
That you are present to me,
Often I feel sheer absence.
After Christmas Mass,
Late night in the home of friends,
I beheld your face,
Glowing on the joyful face
Of a beloved friend of yours.
Present in this host,
Who gathered friends for you,
Your own Eucharist--
Not until Mass was finished,
And we spoke, did I behold you.
Not in Eucharist
Do I find you, Lord Jesus;
Not in the blood of Christ
Do I taste your forgiveness,
But in human kindnesses.
If some find you, Lord,
In religious rituals,
Or in the word preached,
Or music sung, or prayers,
That’s between you, Lord, and them.
I’m not hearing you
Speak in words read, preached, or prayed;
Nor in bread and cup;
Nor in my lone emptiness;
I’m receiving you through friends.
***
That’s now yesterday;
I do not know how you will come
Into emptiness,
Into this human being,
Not yesterday but today.
I hope to hear you
As I pray and read your word;
I hope to find you
In my mind’s searching for you;
All your ways need disclosing.
You surprise me, Lord,
Coming when and as you will;
A true Eucharist
Is when you choose to break in,
Not when we seek to force you.
Empty rituals
Without an awareness of you;
There’s no divine word,
Unless you unveil the mind
To hear you speaking within.
A monastery,
Religious rites, rituals,
And the Mass itself
Have become too empty to me,
As empty as my spirit.
Beholding beauty
I’m mindful of your presence:
Awesome mountain skies,
Starry heavens, Selene,
And Venus Aphrodite.
Hearing Bach’s music
Raises my heart up to you;
Bach’s faith wings my soul
With Christ alive in glory--
But in churches, emptiness.
Help me understand,
Lord God, what is happening;
Why many today
Feel your absence, as I do,
In religious services.
In many humans
What am I finding of you?
Even in some friends
I sense more of your absence
Than your life-giving presence.
In what forms, Lord God,
Do I sense your true presence?
That is my question
To ask you, and to explore.
Where do I find faith in God?
What can I do, Lord,
To renew trust in you here,
Present not absent,
Alive now, active right now,
Even in, with, and through me?
I try to love you,
And I hope to love you well,
But Jesus, Spirit,
I need to love you enfleshed,
Not just untouchably.
Engaging in sex,
Would I feel and love you, Lord?
Engaging a friend
In conversation with you
Would I find you present then?
Living, true God, guide
My search for you in darkness
Or in light, sunshine,
Cloudiness, or winter storms;
Be my guide home to you, Lord.
—28 January 2020 Thomas Aquinas
Christ’s Crown
My heart is pounding;
I had to rise to write words,
Simple, clear, and true--
Truth as I understand it,
Truth as it emerges now.
I should have seen it,
Perhaps. Years prepared for this:
Experiences,
Thoughts, feelings, loves, desires, all--
Blending together in one.
You were standing there
In your home, talking, laughing;
And Christ was present,
Although through faith-love, not flesh,
Visibly to my spirit.
And Christ said to me,
“You need me to be with you
In a special way?
You find the churches empty,
And still you love your one Lord?
Here I am for you.”
And Christ in spirit approached
As you were standing there,
And he merged right into you,
Into your body and soul.
And Christ said to me,
“Here I am now for you. Watch,
Listen and observe,
Love, obey, imitate me
In and through this man, your friend.
He does not perceive
What you are seeing in him.
He does not yet know
That you find the Risen One
Truly present here to you.
He’s my disciple,
A good and faithful servant;
So listen to him,
Learn to be a better man,
Through his living example.”
Should I tell him, Lord,
What you have shown me today?
Is it our secret,
Or reality to share,
To make known to my good friend?
If I say to him,
“I am your disciple now,
You are Christ to me,”
Would he, could he, understand
What may seem strange or untrue?”
“I have crowned your friend
With my own loving presence;
He does not see me
As you do, present in him,
In human flesh, blood, spirit.
You see with love’s eyes,
Illumined by living faith.
He sees with the Church;
You see me Risen in him--
Two modes of disciples’ faith.
Tell him what you see,
And give time to understand.
He’s heard this before,
But not told him so clearly.
He’s a faithful Catholic.
He sees in his priests
And finds in the Eucharist
The Lord whom he loves;
You see in him the same Lord,
Filling you with awe and joy.
You’re my disciples,
Both faithful and loved by me.
I’m nourishing you
In, with, and through each other:
Enjoy the Eucharistic feast.”
—Wm. Paul McKane
29 January 2020
I try to love you,
And I hope to love you well,
But Jesus, Spirit,
I need to love you enfleshed,
Not just untouchably.
You give me some friends
from whom I can feel your love,
And see your work hands,
And hear your voice speak and sing:
In friends you show your love.
You dwell within me,
Within each human being;
Rarely do I sense
That you are present to me,
Often I feel sheer absence.
After Christmas Mass,
Late night in the home of friends,
I beheld your face,
Glowing on the joyful face
Of a beloved friend of yours.
Present in this host,
Who gathered friends for you,
Your own Eucharist--
Not until Mass was finished,
And we spoke, did I behold you.
Not in Eucharist
Do I find you, Lord Jesus;
Not in the blood of Christ
Do I taste your forgiveness,
But in human kindnesses.
If some find you, Lord,
In religious rituals,
Or in the word preached,
Or music sung, or prayers,
That’s between you, Lord, and them.
I’m not hearing you
Speak in words read, preached, or prayed;
Nor in bread and cup;
Nor in my lone emptiness;
I’m receiving you through friends.
***
That’s now yesterday;
I do not know how you will come
Into emptiness,
Into this human being,
Not yesterday but today.
I hope to hear you
As I pray and read your word;
I hope to find you
In my mind’s searching for you;
All your ways need disclosing.
You surprise me, Lord,
Coming when and as you will;
A true Eucharist
Is when you choose to break in,
Not when we seek to force you.
Empty rituals
Without an awareness of you;
There’s no divine word,
Unless you unveil the mind
To hear you speaking within.
A monastery,
Religious rites, rituals,
And the Mass itself
Have become too empty to me,
As empty as my spirit.
Beholding beauty
I’m mindful of your presence:
Awesome mountain skies,
Starry heavens, Selene,
And Venus Aphrodite.
Hearing Bach’s music
Raises my heart up to you;
Bach’s faith wings my soul
With Christ alive in glory--
But in churches, emptiness.
Help me understand,
Lord God, what is happening;
Why many today
Feel your absence, as I do,
In religious services.
In many humans
What am I finding of you?
Even in some friends
I sense more of your absence
Than your life-giving presence.
In what forms, Lord God,
Do I sense your true presence?
That is my question
To ask you, and to explore.
Where do I find faith in God?
What can I do, Lord,
To renew trust in you here,
Present not absent,
Alive now, active right now,
Even in, with, and through me?
I try to love you,
And I hope to love you well,
But Jesus, Spirit,
I need to love you enfleshed,
Not just untouchably.
Engaging in sex,
Would I feel and love you, Lord?
Engaging a friend
In conversation with you
Would I find you present then?
Living, true God, guide
My search for you in darkness
Or in light, sunshine,
Cloudiness, or winter storms;
Be my guide home to you, Lord.
—28 January 2020 Thomas Aquinas
Christ’s Crown
My heart is pounding;
I had to rise to write words,
Simple, clear, and true--
Truth as I understand it,
Truth as it emerges now.
I should have seen it,
Perhaps. Years prepared for this:
Experiences,
Thoughts, feelings, loves, desires, all--
Blending together in one.
You were standing there
In your home, talking, laughing;
And Christ was present,
Although through faith-love, not flesh,
Visibly to my spirit.
And Christ said to me,
“You need me to be with you
In a special way?
You find the churches empty,
And still you love your one Lord?
Here I am for you.”
And Christ in spirit approached
As you were standing there,
And he merged right into you,
Into your body and soul.
And Christ said to me,
“Here I am now for you. Watch,
Listen and observe,
Love, obey, imitate me
In and through this man, your friend.
He does not perceive
What you are seeing in him.
He does not yet know
That you find the Risen One
Truly present here to you.
He’s my disciple,
A good and faithful servant;
So listen to him,
Learn to be a better man,
Through his living example.”
Should I tell him, Lord,
What you have shown me today?
Is it our secret,
Or reality to share,
To make known to my good friend?
If I say to him,
“I am your disciple now,
You are Christ to me,”
Would he, could he, understand
What may seem strange or untrue?”
“I have crowned your friend
With my own loving presence;
He does not see me
As you do, present in him,
In human flesh, blood, spirit.
You see with love’s eyes,
Illumined by living faith.
He sees with the Church;
You see me Risen in him--
Two modes of disciples’ faith.
Tell him what you see,
And give time to understand.
He’s heard this before,
But not told him so clearly.
He’s a faithful Catholic.
He sees in his priests
And finds in the Eucharist
The Lord whom he loves;
You see in him the same Lord,
Filling you with awe and joy.
You’re my disciples,
Both faithful and loved by me.
I’m nourishing you
In, with, and through each other:
Enjoy the Eucharistic feast.”
—Wm. Paul McKane
29 January 2020