Nature Tanka
Withering Winter
Savor the dying
Days of winter withering
Beneath the spring sun,
Before the sun burns hottest
And the cricket sings his last.
02 March 2020
Savor the dying
Days of winter withering
Beneath the spring sun,
Before the sun burns hottest
And the cricket sings his last.
02 March 2020
Awaiting the February Sun
The sun will rise, light
Will spread across Montana,
Cold will continue
For another two months or
Perhaps through March and April
Even into May.
“Keeps the Californians out,”
One often hears said.
No, they come when it’s warmer,
Buy up property, and leave.
Money always talks,
But nature speaks more loudly
In our Montana.
Gradually darkness fades
As the sun’s light draws nearer.
—Wm. P. McKane
07 Feb 2020
The sun will rise, light
Will spread across Montana,
Cold will continue
For another two months or
Perhaps through March and April
Even into May.
“Keeps the Californians out,”
One often hears said.
No, they come when it’s warmer,
Buy up property, and leave.
Money always talks,
But nature speaks more loudly
In our Montana.
Gradually darkness fades
As the sun’s light draws nearer.
—Wm. P. McKane
07 Feb 2020
Thoughts in Winter Silence
Winter stripped bare
Bequeathing no earthen smell
Until one warm day
Above freezing when snow too
Was stripped from earth’s sodden face.
The trees have taught us
Not to fear autumn’s stripping,
Nor winter’s cold blasts,
Nor even spring’s moodiness;
In nature’s time, nature grows.
The words raked the sand
Lying on the submerged floor
Of your heart’s dark sea;
In time the grains will fall back
To their basin settlements.
Fear not the winter,
Fear not the fiercest stormy blasts;
As the sun rises,
So shall winter storms subside
Giving way to warming skies.
Let come what will come.
Winter has its bleak rages,
Which will pass away
As do all things in Time’s sway;
Savor winter’s days and nights.
Winter of your heart,
When birds are silent, somewhere,
Invisible, still;
And memories grow fainter,
Become invisible, still.
Waxing moon, frigid
Winter night, stars between clouds,
Not a sound is heard--
No owl, no coyote, no cows,
But cold, foreboding silence.
Past midnight, new day
Beginning, yesterday fades
Into nothingness.
Cold, disquieting silence
Warming no expectations.
The man in the moon
Or one resembling the moon?
She waxes and wanes,
Her emptiness and fullness
Ruling the chilling night sky.
Six hours til sunrise,
Six hours of utter silence,
No whisper of wind,
A deadness after midnight
Sobering the lone spirit.
You and I are wrapped
In winter’s solemn presence;
Nothing left to say,
Nothing to share but winter--
Cold, sober, stripped-bare silence.
No promises made,
No promises to be kept;
Nothing but winter--
Season of empty waiting,
No hint or promise of spring.
Befriend the darkness,
Befriend winter’s emptiness;
It teaches patience
Without greening, leafy hope,
Without love’s warm embraces.
If I heard an owl,
What would she say to me now
But “Who, who are you?”
One alone in still darkness
Listening to chill silence.
The owl of times past
Has left my world in silence;
Like Athena’s owl,
She spread her wings, flew away
Before the dark of midnight.
The owl speaks wisdom
Even in present absence:
“Stay awake and watch
When no shadows can be seen
Only darkness in darkness.
“Know your ignorance
And presume nothing, nothing;
Know you do not know;
Be humble, assume nothing;
Let the day bring what it will.
Chill your mind’s fancy;
You’ve imagined your own world;
Yield up images,
Desires, hopes, expectations--
Yield it all to winter’s night.
Embrace the darkness
And the cold of unknowing;
These cleanse the spirit,
Preparing for the unknown,
Unimagined, unwanted.
Know you do not know;
Winter, darkness, cold, nothing
All are telling you
To empty yourself of self
And all that you had hoped for.
And no self-pity,
Quicksand of a little soul:
You don’t know what comes.
Attune to nature’s seasons,
Let come what and when it will.”
Chastening winter,
Season not of discontent,
But of nature’s night,
When the seen becomes unseen,
And the unseen takes its time.
Wm. P. McKane
04 February 2020
Winter stripped bare
Bequeathing no earthen smell
Until one warm day
Above freezing when snow too
Was stripped from earth’s sodden face.
The trees have taught us
Not to fear autumn’s stripping,
Nor winter’s cold blasts,
Nor even spring’s moodiness;
In nature’s time, nature grows.
The words raked the sand
Lying on the submerged floor
Of your heart’s dark sea;
In time the grains will fall back
To their basin settlements.
Fear not the winter,
Fear not the fiercest stormy blasts;
As the sun rises,
So shall winter storms subside
Giving way to warming skies.
Let come what will come.
Winter has its bleak rages,
Which will pass away
As do all things in Time’s sway;
Savor winter’s days and nights.
Winter of your heart,
When birds are silent, somewhere,
Invisible, still;
And memories grow fainter,
Become invisible, still.
Waxing moon, frigid
Winter night, stars between clouds,
Not a sound is heard--
No owl, no coyote, no cows,
But cold, foreboding silence.
Past midnight, new day
Beginning, yesterday fades
Into nothingness.
Cold, disquieting silence
Warming no expectations.
The man in the moon
Or one resembling the moon?
She waxes and wanes,
Her emptiness and fullness
Ruling the chilling night sky.
Six hours til sunrise,
Six hours of utter silence,
No whisper of wind,
A deadness after midnight
Sobering the lone spirit.
You and I are wrapped
In winter’s solemn presence;
Nothing left to say,
Nothing to share but winter--
Cold, sober, stripped-bare silence.
No promises made,
No promises to be kept;
Nothing but winter--
Season of empty waiting,
No hint or promise of spring.
Befriend the darkness,
Befriend winter’s emptiness;
It teaches patience
Without greening, leafy hope,
Without love’s warm embraces.
If I heard an owl,
What would she say to me now
But “Who, who are you?”
One alone in still darkness
Listening to chill silence.
The owl of times past
Has left my world in silence;
Like Athena’s owl,
She spread her wings, flew away
Before the dark of midnight.
The owl speaks wisdom
Even in present absence:
“Stay awake and watch
When no shadows can be seen
Only darkness in darkness.
“Know your ignorance
And presume nothing, nothing;
Know you do not know;
Be humble, assume nothing;
Let the day bring what it will.
Chill your mind’s fancy;
You’ve imagined your own world;
Yield up images,
Desires, hopes, expectations--
Yield it all to winter’s night.
Embrace the darkness
And the cold of unknowing;
These cleanse the spirit,
Preparing for the unknown,
Unimagined, unwanted.
Know you do not know;
Winter, darkness, cold, nothing
All are telling you
To empty yourself of self
And all that you had hoped for.
And no self-pity,
Quicksand of a little soul:
You don’t know what comes.
Attune to nature’s seasons,
Let come what and when it will.”
Chastening winter,
Season not of discontent,
But of nature’s night,
When the seen becomes unseen,
And the unseen takes its time.
Wm. P. McKane
04 February 2020
I thought I loved you,
But winter enshrouded us,
Encased in snow;
Like a widow in mourning,
So is my soul within me.
The heart has seasons
Like nature. Winter set in,
And you’ve gone away,
Distanced by miles of coolness,
Far removed from what we knew.
Do I still love you?
How can one love the unknown?
I barely know you,
Hidden behind wintry clouds--
Clouds darkened by ice and snow.
Are you gone for good?
Or like spring, will you return?
How can I know, friend,
When you have blocked the pure stream
Of free-flowing openness?
You withdrew; and now
I see a fence that stretches
Like rusty barbed wire
Across my heart’s little creek,
Already chocked by caked ice.
Is winter so deep,
So cold, so buried in snow,
That no sun can melt
What winter has wrought in us--
A coldness that feels like death?
Are you dead to me?
Does not coldness feel like death?
Have I died to you,
Your heart closed to your own love
Once freely shared with me?
Where did our love go?
Was it really love at all?
Or my illusion,
A wished-for, wanted true love
That in truth never could be?
You tried to tell me,
Didn’t you? I could not hear you
Through my fantasy,
Through the snow falling in me,
Eclipsing reality.
The sun was obscured,
And blind my deluded heart,
Imagining love
That never saw real daylight,
But lived within night’s dreaming.
This winter cannot end,
No spring thaw, no greening grass,
No flowers dancing,
Only snow on frozen snow,
Earth buried, engraved in snow.
If you returned now,
Summer withered into fall,
And fall fallen dead,
Slain by winter’s icy cold,
When you withdrew your cool heart--
If you opened up
Your heart and mind once again,
Could love be restored?
Or could you truly love now,
What you never really loved?
I do not know you,
Do I? I mistook kindness
And your charity
For interpersonal love,
Never intended by you.
Shame rains down on me,
Sobering, cold-soaking rain,
On a man deceived--
If not by your kindnesses,
Then by my own neediness.
How I longed for you,
Yearned to feel your love for me,
Desired your closeness,
Wanted mind to speak to mind,
Heart available to heart.
You fit my heart’s dream,
My long-held desire for love,
Present all my life
In a heart wounded by life,
Left bleeding by the wayside.
You were my father,
My mother, and my brother,
You were my sister,
My soul’s imagined partner
From earliest days of life.
You were far better
Than I dared to imagine.
A real companion
Now in life’s fiery ordeals,
And at the moment of death.
I truly wanted you
To be one with me in love,
To endure life’s burdens,
To stand bravely together
As winter storms would threaten.
Was I mistaken?
Could we never have been one
In a sacred bond
Of friendship on this voyage
To where no one truly knows?
What did you intend?
Suddenly I find no words,
Because I don’t know
What you were really thinking
When I said that I love you.
You said those words, too,
And I believed you meant them.
You do not deceive,
In you I still place my trust;
But do I truly know you?
Now, what shall I do?
Would prudence bid you farewell?
Can I be restrained
After weeks of loving you,
If only in fantasy?
That God would free me--
Do I truly want freedom?
Or my illusions?
Such a foolish winter soul,
Now snow-blinded and frozen.
I must seek the truth,
And love you, not illusion;
Can I truly love
The one you are, as you are,
And not my imagined friend?
Truth is difficult;
It must pierce years of wishing,
Years of desires;
Truth must penetrate my heart
Buried in a child’s old dreams.
Pierce my frozen heart
Arrow of reality;
I still long for you,
My friend, for your deep goodness;
Would that I truly knew you.
Pierce my blinded mind,
Arrow of reality;
Keep me from seeking
What my friend cannot give me
And God alone can bestow.
What am I seeking?
That is the right question now.
Stark winter light, shine,
Break into my clouded mind,
Shine and burn out with truth’s rays.
What am I seeking?
“Be fair to your friend, dear soul.
Know thyself better,
And don’t seek what cannot be,
Or ask what no one can give.”
Have you been, my friend,
Where I am now, in a dream,
A white wishing world
Of snowstorms and illusions,
Of unfulfillable dreams?
No, I must answer,
I’ve been brought before the light,
And face what is real,
Not what I wish, will, or want,
But examine now what is
Merciful Lord, shine
Show me what I’ve been doing
That’s unfair, unjust
To all involved in this storm
Of my fantasy’s brewing.
What could possibly
Be done to assuage my heart,
To satisfy me?
Nothing can fill the vast void
In the human heart—but God.
Winters of dark storms,
Winters of piercing cold winds,
Winters of bright light
Not obscured by lush spring growth,
But light shining, breaking in.
I’ve sought my friend’s love
A gift that no mortal gives;
I’ve sought far too much
From a limited human:
I have sought the infinite.
Infinite the void,
Boundless the needy abyss
In the human heart;
Nothing in the universe
But infinite love can fill.
Living Lord of love,
Boundless, infinite sea
Of eternal love,
Fill me, flood me, flow through me,
Free me from misplaced Eros.
You alone answer love,
You alone satisfy Eros,
Craving everything,
Far more than a creature gives
Or can give in completeness.
O sacred winter,
Time for stark reality,
Time to let show up
The barrenness of our hearts,
False longings of our dreamings.
Chastening winter,
I never know where you’ll lead,
You hide your byways
Beneath a thick cloak of snow,
Ever surprisingly fresh.
Now, my little soul,
Do you see what was buried?
Do you understand
Not to expect more from us
Than we can humanly give?
I no longer mourn
For a love that could not be,
For love beyond love,
Transcending limitations,
Bounds set on bounded beings.
Rather, I will love you,
Incomplete fellow human,
You cannot answer me,
Not fill all of my vast needs,
But still, friend, I will love you.
—Wm. Paul McKane
18 January 2020
But winter enshrouded us,
Encased in snow;
Like a widow in mourning,
So is my soul within me.
The heart has seasons
Like nature. Winter set in,
And you’ve gone away,
Distanced by miles of coolness,
Far removed from what we knew.
Do I still love you?
How can one love the unknown?
I barely know you,
Hidden behind wintry clouds--
Clouds darkened by ice and snow.
Are you gone for good?
Or like spring, will you return?
How can I know, friend,
When you have blocked the pure stream
Of free-flowing openness?
You withdrew; and now
I see a fence that stretches
Like rusty barbed wire
Across my heart’s little creek,
Already chocked by caked ice.
Is winter so deep,
So cold, so buried in snow,
That no sun can melt
What winter has wrought in us--
A coldness that feels like death?
Are you dead to me?
Does not coldness feel like death?
Have I died to you,
Your heart closed to your own love
Once freely shared with me?
Where did our love go?
Was it really love at all?
Or my illusion,
A wished-for, wanted true love
That in truth never could be?
You tried to tell me,
Didn’t you? I could not hear you
Through my fantasy,
Through the snow falling in me,
Eclipsing reality.
The sun was obscured,
And blind my deluded heart,
Imagining love
That never saw real daylight,
But lived within night’s dreaming.
This winter cannot end,
No spring thaw, no greening grass,
No flowers dancing,
Only snow on frozen snow,
Earth buried, engraved in snow.
If you returned now,
Summer withered into fall,
And fall fallen dead,
Slain by winter’s icy cold,
When you withdrew your cool heart--
If you opened up
Your heart and mind once again,
Could love be restored?
Or could you truly love now,
What you never really loved?
I do not know you,
Do I? I mistook kindness
And your charity
For interpersonal love,
Never intended by you.
Shame rains down on me,
Sobering, cold-soaking rain,
On a man deceived--
If not by your kindnesses,
Then by my own neediness.
How I longed for you,
Yearned to feel your love for me,
Desired your closeness,
Wanted mind to speak to mind,
Heart available to heart.
You fit my heart’s dream,
My long-held desire for love,
Present all my life
In a heart wounded by life,
Left bleeding by the wayside.
You were my father,
My mother, and my brother,
You were my sister,
My soul’s imagined partner
From earliest days of life.
You were far better
Than I dared to imagine.
A real companion
Now in life’s fiery ordeals,
And at the moment of death.
I truly wanted you
To be one with me in love,
To endure life’s burdens,
To stand bravely together
As winter storms would threaten.
Was I mistaken?
Could we never have been one
In a sacred bond
Of friendship on this voyage
To where no one truly knows?
What did you intend?
Suddenly I find no words,
Because I don’t know
What you were really thinking
When I said that I love you.
You said those words, too,
And I believed you meant them.
You do not deceive,
In you I still place my trust;
But do I truly know you?
Now, what shall I do?
Would prudence bid you farewell?
Can I be restrained
After weeks of loving you,
If only in fantasy?
That God would free me--
Do I truly want freedom?
Or my illusions?
Such a foolish winter soul,
Now snow-blinded and frozen.
I must seek the truth,
And love you, not illusion;
Can I truly love
The one you are, as you are,
And not my imagined friend?
Truth is difficult;
It must pierce years of wishing,
Years of desires;
Truth must penetrate my heart
Buried in a child’s old dreams.
Pierce my frozen heart
Arrow of reality;
I still long for you,
My friend, for your deep goodness;
Would that I truly knew you.
Pierce my blinded mind,
Arrow of reality;
Keep me from seeking
What my friend cannot give me
And God alone can bestow.
What am I seeking?
That is the right question now.
Stark winter light, shine,
Break into my clouded mind,
Shine and burn out with truth’s rays.
What am I seeking?
“Be fair to your friend, dear soul.
Know thyself better,
And don’t seek what cannot be,
Or ask what no one can give.”
Have you been, my friend,
Where I am now, in a dream,
A white wishing world
Of snowstorms and illusions,
Of unfulfillable dreams?
No, I must answer,
I’ve been brought before the light,
And face what is real,
Not what I wish, will, or want,
But examine now what is
Merciful Lord, shine
Show me what I’ve been doing
That’s unfair, unjust
To all involved in this storm
Of my fantasy’s brewing.
What could possibly
Be done to assuage my heart,
To satisfy me?
Nothing can fill the vast void
In the human heart—but God.
Winters of dark storms,
Winters of piercing cold winds,
Winters of bright light
Not obscured by lush spring growth,
But light shining, breaking in.
I’ve sought my friend’s love
A gift that no mortal gives;
I’ve sought far too much
From a limited human:
I have sought the infinite.
Infinite the void,
Boundless the needy abyss
In the human heart;
Nothing in the universe
But infinite love can fill.
Living Lord of love,
Boundless, infinite sea
Of eternal love,
Fill me, flood me, flow through me,
Free me from misplaced Eros.
You alone answer love,
You alone satisfy Eros,
Craving everything,
Far more than a creature gives
Or can give in completeness.
O sacred winter,
Time for stark reality,
Time to let show up
The barrenness of our hearts,
False longings of our dreamings.
Chastening winter,
I never know where you’ll lead,
You hide your byways
Beneath a thick cloak of snow,
Ever surprisingly fresh.
Now, my little soul,
Do you see what was buried?
Do you understand
Not to expect more from us
Than we can humanly give?
I no longer mourn
For a love that could not be,
For love beyond love,
Transcending limitations,
Bounds set on bounded beings.
Rather, I will love you,
Incomplete fellow human,
You cannot answer me,
Not fill all of my vast needs,
But still, friend, I will love you.
—Wm. Paul McKane
18 January 2020